Everglades snakes, Cruise ship captain, Jessica Alba, 1,100 year old tomb (of a female singer) were some of the things that were trending on Yahoo the other day. Like the terms "TTYL" and "Jessica Alba," "trending" is a term that I hear but don't understand. Ok, I'll admit, I know that TTYL is text language for "Trending Takes Yogurt Literally." I'm not THAT out of the loop. But when I think of the word "trending" I think of "trendy," you know, like "hip." Is this what it means? Because if it does, then this means that 1,100 year old singers are trendy! Woohoo! Archaeologists besides Indiana Jones might finally be popular instead of nerdy!
Wait a minute...now "Madonna single" and "Willow Smith" are trending. Not Everglades snakes? Well, why not? An Everglade snake could eat Madonna and Willow Smith in one gulp! Does trending not follow the laws of the food chain? Does it follow any laws, this trending, or is it some kind of renegade thing that chooses random topics for people to think about and perhaps click on when they should be doing something else at work?
Because if that's it's game then I have fallen for it. I'm not likely to click on Madonna, but 1,100 year old singer, who could pass up that one? Who was this singer? Perhaps the Madonna of her time? One of the judges on Egyptian Idol? What did she sound like, I mean, what constituted as exceptional singing that would make a Pharaoh's heart swell? It's so much more exciting for me to imagine something like that when I'm at work than focusing on the data entry stuff that I'm supposed to be doing. Um, and in case my manager is reading this, that I am HAPPY to do and DO do all of the time!...Most of the time!...Um, this is not Genevieve's blog. This is Jessica Alba's. Fire her.
There are other terms I don't understand that I should. Like "housing bubble." I keep hearing this term on NPR, and though I have magnificent reading comprehension skills and should be able to figure it out, and though I owned a house for eight years, I still don't know what it means. I can tell that it is a bad thing when it bursts. That's what the news guys seem to be saying, anyway. But what is it? It sounds kind of cute. I imagine a charming little home floating in a bubble like Glenda the Good Witch. A bubble makes the house magical and shiny, but when it bursts it gets soap all over it and everyone inside is sticky. Is that what it means? Because if it does, that's no so bad. Then you just hose off. I suspect it's something other than the cartoon that plays in my head though. Something that involves numbers, money, and other words that I don't understand like "escrow." Which makes me think of "Scarecrow." This entire paragraph only solidifies the fact that I should never own a house because the entire business exists for me in the form of "The Wizard of Oz." You know. That movie where the house FALLS FROM THE SKY AND KILLS SOMEONE.
OH! I just checked Yahoo, and the trendingness, whatever it is, has already changed. Now the top trend is...Nano quadrotor. What the hell is that? And how does it one-up Madonna being single? I don't understand trending, what makes things hot from one moment to the next. Trends bursts like house bubbles, big one minute, small and covered in liquid soap the next. It's sad really.