Friday, September 2, 2011

There are sometimes I think about driving

There are sometimes, like ten minutes ago when I walked out to my car to get something, that I think about driving away. First and foremost this would have been a terrible idea because I was (and still am) on my break at work. The impulse happened for no reason I can think of. It reminded me of when I was younger and I would jump at the impulse to cut class, or dodge my bus and hide for the day instead of going to school.

Skipping a class in college, though not wise, wasn't going to get me kicked out if I did it once or twice. Hiding from the school bus though - that never turned out well. I think I only did it a few times. One time turned out especially bad, and I won't go into details, but let's just skip to the end and say that the police came out and my parents were very upset with me, and also worried that I might be crazy. (Note to mom and dad: I am, but it's not that bad) I never did it again after that, and instead dragged myself onto the bus where I slumped over and didn't look anyone in the face. This made me irresistably popular, and by that I mean that I was the mean kids' favorite target. I always got upset and never retaliated, which is a perfect combination for another kid who needed a quick reputation boost by picking on someone else. Looking back, I really wish I had just sat up straight and told off Julie Whatever Her Name Was when she threw gum in my hair, but instead I spent five unsuccessful minutes trying to pull it out and then the rest of the bus ride staring out the window wishing I could run into the trees that we were driving by.

Now when I get these impulses, I don't drive off and I don't slump over and stop talking to someone. This would not work.

Kid at Home: Mom, can I have some lunch money?...Mom? Why did you fall forward on the table? Mom? (starts tapping on my head) Mom, are you awake?...What are you mumbling? No, I don't want to go get your car keys. Why?"

But the impulses don't always happen because I want to escape stress. Sometimes it's when I'm feeling good and I just want to get out there and see things. This morning when I was walking into work I saw a photograph of a shell on the beach in the hallway and I suddenly wanted to run back to my car and drive to the beach so I could look for it. I don't even know what beach that was. It could have been a New Zealand shore. All the better! I've never been to New Zealand! What a lark! I am sure that this is exactly what my boss would have said when I called to let him know of my plan.

"Norris," I would say, "No, I won't be in this morning. See, I was walking down the hall towards the patient elevators when I saw a picture of this shell and I decided to go to New Zealand...Yes, I think it's a lark too! You're so supportive, sir!"

Speaking of bosses and such, my break is over and I need to get back to work. I'll avoid the seashell hallway, and mean girls who look like they might throw gum at me.