Thursday, May 3, 2012

Step 1: Worry about being accepted

I emailed two of my former professors to ask if they could write letters of recommendation for me and they actually remembered who I am! We haven't seen each other in five years! I would like to believe that my world class writing skills is what makes me stick out in their minds, but I think what really registered with them is when I reminded them that "I was the tall one." Then they thought, "Oh yes! The tall one of the spring of '07! Of course!"

So the application process is going well. Now I just need to take the GRE, send everything off, and cross my fingers. Then after I get in I will worry about passing. Then after I pass and graduate I will worry about finding a job. Then after I find a job, I'll worry about getting fired or laid off. That's my career plan.  It's solid.

But I am worried about the finding a job part. Every time I tell people that I'm going to be a librarian they have one of two reactions. Either, "That's awesome! I can see that!" or "When are you get a job? When someone dies? You know librarians hold onto those jobs until they die." And I believe them because once I get a library gig I plan to hold onto it until they have to pry it from my cold, dead hands. Oh the other thing that people like to say is that there won't be many jobs open by the time I graduate because everything is moving on-line and there will be no print books. Ok. Then I'll be the old creepy lady who takes care of the archives. Surely, even when books are no longer printed on paper, the old originals will be so prized to book lovers that they will insist there be gate keepers to mind them and care for them in temperature controlled climates. Gate keepers with master's degrees in Library Science!

Why oh why do I care about how people react to my ideas? There's always SOMEBODY who's going to point out the flaws and inevitable catastrophes. "Don't become a librarian! It will be the ruin of us all! Run! Hide the children!"

The only downside I see is more student loans. Ugh. But I'm going to apply for everything that's out there! Grants, scholarships, single-mom-sympathy-gimme-money, ALL OF IT!

Writing my old teachers reminded me that I miss school. I miss sitting in classrooms and talking about a books, styles of writing, papers, and deadlines. History and ideas that people had. That's what I like about the library. It's one big reference section where people go to learn, or share knowledge. Dude, my inner nerd just goes CRAZY. And when I work at a library it'll go crazy every day! Because I'm going to find one of those hard-to-get jobs! And I'll have to die before someone can replace me! And I'll keep submitting my books to hard-to-please publishers so that one day, goddammit, I'll be shelving my own book! And fifty years from now when I'm caretaking the ancient archive I'll show my work to a young person who's never seen paper before and I'll say, "I'm Genevieve Rheams. I wrote this loooong ago." And they'll say, "I remember you! You're that writer! The tall one!"